1. My goal for 2017 was to lose just 10 pounds … only 15 to go ....
2. Ate salad for dinner…Mostly croutons & tomatoes ... Really just
one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce ... And cheese..
FINE, it was a pizza... I ate a pizza.
3. How to prepare Tofu:
1. Throw it in the trash.
2. Grill some Meat.
4. I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.
5. I don't mean to brag but … I finished my 14-day diet food in 3
hours and 20 minutes.
6. A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight
live longer than men who mention it.
7. Kids today don't know how easy they have it ... when I was young,
I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
8. Senility has been a smooth transition for me.
9. Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero
out they closed school? Me neither.
10. I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or
talented … I forgot where I was going with this.
11. I love being over 70 … I learn something new every day … and
forget 5 others.
12. A thief broke into my house last night … He started searching for
money … so I woke up and searched with him.
13. My dentist told me I need a Crown … I said, “You bet, pour mine
14. I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead
and call it a day.
"Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed."