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Established in 2006 as a Community of Reality

Welcome to the Neno's Place!

Neno's Place Established in 2006 as a Community of Reality


Neno

I can be reached by phone or text 8am-7pm cst 972-768-9772 or, once joining the board I can be reached by a (PM) Private Message.

Established in 2006 as a Community of Reality

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Established in 2006 as a Community of Reality

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    Mixed Marriages in Islam – Part XVI

    Rocky
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    Mixed Marriages in Islam – Part XVI Empty Mixed Marriages in Islam – Part XVI

    Post by Rocky Fri 04 Nov 2016, 3:05 am

    Mixed Marriages in Islam – Part XVI
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    [size=11]Gulbahar — Exclusive to Ekurd.net[/size]
    The core of all social and economic structures in Islamic societies is based on the family. People do not conceive of themselves as individuals, but rather as a part of a family. They have their identity in a family, and there is no identity apart from their family. Rugged individualism, as we know it in the West, does not exist in Islamic cultures at all. Married couples usually do not have the financial ability to buy a house and start a separate life from their parents’ lives. The tendency is to live within in the family house, where the father and mother live, and this is the norm of life. It has great advantages, since there are sympathetic and experienced people to help the new couple through their formative marriage years, help with the chores, cooking, babysitting, and not least of all if the help that comes from having many loving aunts and uncles to assist in raising the children.
    How many times have parents in the west wished there were a small village to help reinforce the teachings of the parents? Children in the West do not need to go outside their doors to find a different point of view than their parents’….early on, before the child is equipped to analyze them, influences come streaming through the television to put the child at odds with his parents. This is only one of the benefits to having the child raised in a larger family environment.

    Marriage brings about the union not only of two individuals, but in reality, in Islamic society, the union of two families. Hence, it is almost unimaginable in Islamic societies to bring one Christian family together with a Muslim family through marriage. Theoretically, and legally, it is possible, but in practicality, it is not! There is just too much prejudice to overcome. The cultures are completely different.
    Christians and Muslims lived together since the dawn of Islam under well- defined boundaries. Some of the boundaries are contained in Islamic Shari’a, but most stem from the differing cultural heritages of both groups. The differing cultural aspects have an immense affect on the Islamic society. Passed along with the prejudices of each, we see a long history of mistrust, animosity and division present. Rarely families of different faiths become united in marriage. It requires a great sacrifice from both side of the aisle.
    Historically and theologically, Muslim and non-Muslim families do not mix together in marriage. But in the event such a rarity should occur, mixed marriage is defined as the marriage of a male Muslim to a non-Muslim female who is from the “people of the book,” either a Christian, Jew or a Sabean. Marriages to Hindus, Buddhists, or other “pagans” are totally invalid and hence the children are illegitimate in the eyes of Islamic law.
    The institutions in Islamic society bind all individuals to families. All economic security is found within the family, not from welfare programs and the like. In the West, government programs provide what families no longer provide. For example, all generations live together, the elderly with the very young. The elderly are respected until the day they die, and, in general, the care they receive is better than what they face in a nursing home in the West. They are kept interested in life by the very young surrounding them. They have usefulness and purpose within the family, no matter how old they become. Their advice is binding and their experience is handed down to the younger generations. They are surrounded by grandchildren who love them.
    The marriage of a Muslim male to a non-Muslim is very rare within the Islamic world, but common outside of it, particularly in Europe and in North and South America. These mixed marriages are due to many factors, among which are;
    The Muslim is no longer lives within an Islamic society where he is but a part of a larger family into which he was born. Most Muslim males who come to the west come as students, and they find the same cultural pressures here as any college student finds…social gatherings, dating, friends take on more importance than family ties. His ability to make enough money here to support a wife and family also contributes to his new culture. The freedoms he finds in the West help him to see himself as an individual, with unique talents, likes and dislikes. He does not have to answer to his parents for his choices, and truly, the freedom can be revolutionary in his cultural outlook.
    It was one of the goals of the American government during the 70’s and 80’s to allow students from Muslim societies to come abroad to study, with the hope that they would return with a love for freedom, and that they would help to improve and further modernize their countries. Unfortunately, many chose to stay in the West, while still others sought to bring radical Islam to the West, under the guise of attending schools. We cannot see fundamental movement towards democracy in many of the Islamic countries today after nearly thirty years of such openness to students from Islamic societies. Part of this is due to the harsh and ruthless governments that exist which call themselves “Islamic.” Part of the lack of progress is due to the great attractiveness of individualism in the West…the students simply do not have the hope to go back to a medieval system headed by tyrants, and the belief they can make a difference. The Islamic world resist change, and it is now taking the intervention by the United States and others in Iraq to bring a beacon of hope to those suffering under oppressive societies.
    Civil laws in Islamic societies reflect mandates in the Koran (Islamic law.) With very few exceptions, such as with Turkey, all Christians in the Middle East and in the greater Islamic world are subject to Islamic law. Shari’a takes away from Christians public religious festivities, all evangelistic activities, right to publish Christian materials. There is no such opportunity for Christians to form a Christian political party or to elect representatives to high level government positions.
    These are only as few of the numerous restrictions forced on Christians which we can find highly regulated in Islamic Shari’a. Add to these the historical prejudices and animosities which are ever-present in the mind of Muslims, and you have a recipe for suffering by Christians. They cannot protest any ill treatment they receive…and so many millions have been persecuted and killed by fanatical Muslims through the centuries. However, the first to cry “victim” and “discrimination against Arabs” in the West are the Arab Muslims, if any portrayal of them in the Media is even the slightest or imperceptibly unfavorable. The freedoms in the West are to be used by the Islamist to bring down those very societies affording them the freedoms.
    The mind of the Islamist is soaked and rooted in the past. Such a mind is a place where the past is not a relic, but the past is rather his inspiration to push on towards reviving the “golden age of Islam.” This “golden age of Islam” is dubious at best, the essence of which was war (Jihad) and the sword. This “golden age” was that in which Muslim armies were seen as Allah’s army, bringing about true liberation! The crusaders were supposedly the only savages those days, coming down from Europe, said to be thirsty for Muslim blood.
    The Islamist mind believes that Allah’s armies were destined to take over the Christian nations in the Middle East, Africa and Europe. They believe that Christians worship many gods, and that the Trinity consists of God, Mary and Jesus. Though a Christian may refute this, the Islamist simply tells himself that the Koran says so, and then whatever the Christian tells him that does not fit this concept, he discards as lies. He thinks of the Christian as an idolater, and no amount of truthful dialogue will enlighten him. Written into the Koran are great misunderstandings of Christian doctrine, but whenever a Christian attempts to clarify the mistakes, the Islamist closes his mind to any correction not in line with what the Koran says.
    The past is a lengthy record of bloody conquests for the Muslim invaders of infidel lands. Such bloody victories are inspirational to Islamists who seek to destroy all that is not Muslim in the world today. These historical bloodbaths are and will be present in any conversations with Muslims, if only on a non-verbal level. The mind-set produced by such a history rules out all thoughts of mixed marriages between Muslims and “People of the Book.” As we stated earlier, mixed marriages occur almost invariably only when the Muslim male is living as an alien in the West.
    The legal procedure for mixed marriages in the secular Western system is non- intrusive, and is based on actual equality between male and female. Basically, all that is required for a marriage license is that the male and female be of minimum age and that they freely sign in front of a clerk their desire to marry.
    Islam, at its very best, in contrast, does not provide the basics of equality in marriage, inheritance, or divorce laws. The Islamic laws are to supercede any regulations and freedoms enjoyed by Muslims living outside of their home countries. We expect that immigrants coming to America, for example, blend in and become part of the great “melting pot.” But Islamic families are some of the fiercest in resisting adaptation in democratic societies. Even female children of Muslim families, growing up in the West, face a future of inequality, without rights, because they are expected to marry a Muslim male. The freedoms they knew as a child in the West will not be afforded them once they are married, even if they continue to live in free societies. It is their husbands who will set the rules and decide if they have been “good” women. It is the males who will decide whether or not they are disobedient, and what measure of punishment they deserve.
    Custody of the children, as another example, in the Islamic world almost always is in the interest of the male Muslims. This is a wake-up call to Western females who want to marry Muslims…even though they marry in the West, it is the backdrop of the Islamic culture which prevails in these mixed marriages. Should tensions occur, as they inevitably do in mixed marriages, the male may one day simply take the children to his home country, abandoning all rights guaranteed to the mother of the children, his wife under Western law. It is to this end that we write this book, for all women who are seeking to enter a mixed marriage, so that they might consider and weigh the cultural differences. It is always the Muslim man whose interests are protected.
    Among the unforeseen difficulties of mixed marriages is the intrusion of the extended family of the Muslim male into the marriage. Family blood ties are so strong among Muslims, that the sheer thought of breaking away from the family is taboo.. The male rarely breaks from his family on any matter, even marriage. In the West, we joke about the controlling mother-in-law, but in the Islamic countries, it is the entire family of intrusive in-laws that the Mushrik woman has to compete with.
    The Koran contains two contradictory perspectives on marriage to a Mushrik [47] woman. On the one hand, it is prohibited, as we read in Koran 2:221 “And marry not the Mushrik women until they believe, and certainly a believing maid is better than a Mushrik woman even though she pleases you; nor give [believing Muslim women] in marriage to Mushrik men until they believe, and certainly a believing slave is better than idolater even though he pleases you. They (Unbelievers, Mushrikeen) invite you to fire, but Allah invites you to the garden and forgiveness by his grace.” The text here is giving a condition for marrying a Non-Muslim based on their conversion to Islam!
    This same Koran, on the other hand, allows for mixed marriages with non-Muslims provided that the woman comes from the People of the Book, that is, she is a Jew, Christian, or Sabean. “This day all good things have been made lawful to you. And the food of those who have been given the Book is lawful for you and your food is lawful for them. And so are the chaste among the believing women and the chaste among those who have been given the Book before you when you have given them their dowries, taking them in marriage, not fornicating nor taking them as paramours in secret.” (Koran 5:5)
    Islamists take the latter text as a splendid example of “Islamic tolerance” which they say proves their acceptance of Jews and Christians. They neglect to look at the contextual picture, which would include and put forth a doctrine that incorporates the former quote as well, that tolerance in the marriage is contingent on the conversion of non-Muslims to Islam. This is not tolerance whatsoever, but intolerance!
    These two quotes seem to contradict the other. Which one of these two contradictory Surahs is therefore binding on Muslims who wish to marry a non-Muslim woman? According to the nullification theory, the former text (Koran Chapter 2) is obligatory since it came after the latter quote from Koran, Chapter 5. This means that in all mixed marriages, the woman must first convert to Islam, thus making it a non-mixed marriage. Hence, although some modern Muslim males do marry non-Muslim women, they are actually deviating from the teachings of the Koran. This deviation therefore is being practiced and propagated by all schools of Islamic jurisprudence which permit mixed marriages!
    The International Islamic Federation of Student Organizations claims that Islam gives permission for Muslim males to marry Jewish and Christian wives…this, they say, is due to head of the household being Muslim. They cite their reasons for not allowing Muslim women to marry non-Muslim men as the following: “Jews and Christians recognize neither the divine origin of Islam, its book, or its prophet (peace be upon him.) How could then a Muslim woman live with such a man…it will be impossible for Muslim women to retain her respect for her beliefs as well as to practice her religion properly if she were opposed in this regard by the master of the house at every step” [48] Here we see the grip of power the Muslims believe the man has as the head of the house, and that is why they insist he must be a Muslim.
    Two families are joined together by the marriage- not just two individuals. Islamic cultural and social ties are closer in this respect to Judaism’s than to Christianity’s. The Christian is encouraged to put Christ before family, and even to give up his family for God, if called to do so. In Christianity the “real Marriage” is between Christ and His Bride, the Church. Each believer stands in relation to Christ as His Bride…The focus of the ardent Christian is not earth, but Heaven. Islam, like Judaism, has a more down-to-earth, worldly focus than their counterpart, Christianity.
    Due to the fear of the possibility a Muslim could convert to another faith, he is encouraged to marry within his own religion. If he were to convert and no longer be Muslim, he would be committing one of the three unforgivable sins, apostasy. Muslims, then, are encouraged to convert their prospective wives to Islam prior to the marriage and not afterwards. The latter requirement is not mandatory, as we have shown above, but is regarded as highly desirable. Like Nike’s slogan, “Just do it.” The Muslim should convert a prospective marriage partner to Islam.
    Marriage to non-Muslims may hinder the Muslim later on if he should decide to marry additional women or to exercise his rights, as a Muslim, to marry three more wives at one time in addition to his non-Muslim wife. These four wives could
    conceivably be all under one roof. Under such circumstances, co-habitations among Muslims and non-Muslims is highly unlikely, thus is another reason it is not desirable to marry non-Muslims.
    [size=13]The author is women rights activist. Marriage and Family Law in Islam series. Exclusive on Ekurd.net.[/size]


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