Man deletes social media accounts, cancels credit cards, sells everything and moves to the wilderness.
Carrier pigeon arrives with a message: Hello, we've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty.
I need to re-home a dog. It's a small terrier and tends to bark a lot. If you're interested, let me know and I'll jump over my neighbor's fence and get it for you.
Our new neighbors got all moved in. My wife said "They are so in love.
He kisses her, strokes her hair and hugs her.
Why don't you do that?" I said "Because I don't know her that well yet."
Now my wife is angry and I don't know why.
An old man was working out at the gym when he spotted an attractive young woman walk in.
He asked the trainer standing next to him, "What machine should I use to impress that woman over there?"
The trainer looked him up and down and said "I would recommend the
ATM in the lobby!"